Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
