did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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