:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
