Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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