On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
