sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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