physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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