I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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