the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
