Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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