My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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