Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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