if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's shark week go big or go home
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
