If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
