Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
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