Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
