His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
