I just threw up on my dentist
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
