in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
