Got a toothbrush?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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