just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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