Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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