Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
