I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
