Can Purell be used as lube?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
