I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
