Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Randomize
