how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
