And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
