Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
