life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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