My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
