dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
