did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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