shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Jerry, you need to find god
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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