So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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