Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
