I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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