This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
