I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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