After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
