How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
