this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
