You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
