Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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