Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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