This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
