And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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