I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
