Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
