Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
